Then there's Chat Fear: There is no time limit on when this second phase of chatroom hysteria will hit you, but usually is begins with a photograph...
You've just sent a picture of yourself to someone who you feel you know everything about. It's your soul mate, you've talked about kinky sex and laughed at the same jokes, you know they're amazing in every way - and you get to see their photograph finally!
Your heart beats faster than it ever has in your life and images of the person you've constructed in your head float through your mind, they usually look a bit like a model or perhaps a movie star....and you click to open the image with eager anticipation....
And it's a 95 year old wookie with a glass eye and three breasts looking back at you.... who appears to be both hairy and naked!
Welcome to Chat Fear.. usually rapidly followed by the words "OMG this freak knows where I live!"
Something to bear in mind is that you're probably about to be emotionally blackmailed, this wookie has been feeding you crap to spin your head and emotions, and they lied - Do not offer the sympathetic date of guilt to the devious little sod!
The Chat Commandments
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No one is ever what they say they are on the internet
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Attractive people are crap at chatting, they've never had to rely on words or humour before to get noticed - and generally they can't type very well either.
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Love doesn't come in binary code!
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Neither do hormones!
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If they say they are normal - RUN NOW! Only psychotics say that on the internet
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If they say they've just beaten your Gran to death with her pet poodle and like to eat babies, they're average, normal and probably fun to talk to
These are the Chat Commandments, always abide by them
